


AC2014 [5]: teXtMAS

by twotenths



Series: F1 Advent Challenge 2014 [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Advent Challenge 2014, Fluff, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2722745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twotenths/pseuds/twotenths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(2.47): DAN THE MAN calling<br/><b>“Meeeeeeerrry Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!”</b><br/><i>“No.”</i><br/><b>“Okay.”</b><br/>Call disconnected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	AC2014 [5]: teXtMAS

**Author's Note:**

> Finally get to try my hand at a texting fic! Inspired by Text Talk by merlywhirls (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1651109/chapters/3501239) a modern AU Marauder fic (Harry Potter), really worth checking out if it's your sort of thing!
> 
> "In quotation marks is a phone call"
> 
> (In brackets is CET, where JEV is) --[A/N: It's mentioned in the fic roughly what time it is in Perth but for reference, it's 7 hours ahead]
> 
>  
> 
> **Bold is Dan**
> 
>  
> 
> _Italics is JEV >_

(2.47): DAN THE MAN calling

**“Meeeeeeerrry Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!”**

_“No.”_

**“Okay.”**

Call disconnected.

 

(7.04 ): **Merry Christmas?**

(7.05): _Yes, okay._

(7.05): **Bonza!**

(7.06): _You are a walking stereotype, you know that right?_

(7.07): **Proudly so mate, proudly so!**

(7.07): **Have you stopped being a Scrooge then?**

(7.09): _You called me at 2.45! I was in bed! Asleep!_

(7.10): **Waiting for Santa Claus to pop down your chimney?**

(7.11): _Ew._

(7.12): **;)**

(7.13): _How do you make everything sound dirty?_

(7.14): **It’s a gift. SPEAKING OF GIFTS: Have you opened yours yet?**

(7.16): _I’m still in bed. So no._

(7.18): **What?! What time is it over there??**

(7.19): _Nearly twenty past 7_

(7.21): **And you’re not out of bed?!**

(7.22): _.. It’s twenty past 7._

(7.25): **Dude! You’re meant to get up early on Christmas day and run downstairs and feel all your presents! You haven’t done that yet?**

(7.28): _Unlike you, I am not 7 years old._

(7.29): _AND I am far too TIRED to get out of bed because some ARSEHOLE decided to call me at 2.45AM_

(7.32): **Duuuuuuuude. Unfair. You know I love Christmas.**

(7.34): _Everyone knows._

 

(8.58): _There are children EVERYWHERE._

(9.00): **You say that like it’s a bad thing!**

(9.01): **I’m assuming you’re out of bed now?**

(9.03): _No, there are lots of children in my bed_

(9.04): **Really?**

(9.04): _No_

(9.07): **Oh. Good. Glad you’re not a pedo.**

(9.10): _Such festive conversation._

(9.12): **You started it!**

(9.13): _Not the pervert discussion!_

(9.16): **Fair enough. Why are there kids everywhere?**

(9.19): _I don’t know! Apparently they’re all my cousins! I thought I only had maybe two, but I can count at least ten in this room._

(9.20): _Or maybe they’re running around so fast I’m miscounting._

(9.21): _They’re very small and loud, you’d love them._

(9.24): **Ha, I bet!**

(9.25): _You busy?_

(9.28): **Having lunch, texting under the table so Ma doesn’t see.**

(9.30): _Isn’t that a bit late? It’s, what, 4pm over there?_

(9.33): **Yeah, the barbie was giving us trouble, so lunch is a bit late.**

(9.34): _Oh god._

(9.35): **What?**

(9.37): _Please tell me you’re not cooking Christmas dinner on a barbecue?_

(9.39): **A fine Aussie tradition!**

(9.41): _Mon dieu._

(9.45): **It’s amazing. We cooked the turkey in the oven, because who can be fucked with grilling a whole turkey? But yeah, we’ve got shrimp and lobster, sitting on the beach eating our delicious tucker!**

(9.46): _You said you were texting under the table?_

(9.48): **I am! We bought a table to the beach, obviously**.

(9.49): _Australians are strange_

(9.51): **I bet you’re sitting around a table in the dining room, all in your best clothes, napkins on your laps, finest china .. Am I close?**

(9.52): _Well no. It’s not even 10 yet, so rn we’re having drinks .. But that’s a fair guess for later on._

(9.53): **I knew it! I bet you’re wearing a scarf**

(9.53): _.._

(9.54): **HAHAHA!**

(9.56): _Ah, I’m being told to take the kids for a walk, get them to work off some energy before lunch._

(9.57): **Make sure you bring back the same number you left with.**

(9.57): _Only if they don’t piss me off_

(9.59): **Poor kids.**

 

(12.04): **Have you opened your present yet?**

(12.06): _Easrting sdinnber_

(12.07):  **.. What was that?**

(12.08): _At the tfable, cant see whbat im writing_

(12.08): _Hang onm_

(12.11): _Okay, I’ve excused myself. No not yet, why?_

(12.12): **You didn’t open your presents before lunch?**

(12.13): _No, we never do, usually about 5pm when my pere’s sister arrives_

(12.14): **5 O CLOCK?!**

(12.14): _Yeah, sorry._

(12.15): **Arghhh. Just let me know when you do.**

(12.15): _Okay ..?_

(12.15): **Go back and have lunch now**

(12.16): _You know .. It feels so good being able to eat again. Properly. I don’t think I’ve eaten this well since I was in my teens._

(12.17): **That’s good.**

(12.17): **Being able to eat now, not the other stuff.**

(12.18): _I got that don’t worry_

(12.19): **I was really worried about you this year mate, you scared me when you collapsed and went to hospital.**

(12.21): **JEV?**

(12.22): _Sorry, went back to the table. Ahh nothing scares you, you’re a badger. Or something._

(12.23): **No really, I was beside myself. I’m glad you’re okay.**

(12.24): _Thanks Dan._

(12.25): **And it’s HONEY BADGER, the most FEARSOME CREATURE IN THE WORLD**

(12.25): _Here we go._

(12.26): **Hahah. Oh shit, I think my cousins are gonna try and get me to swim with them.**

(12.27): _Ahhh yes the fearsome Australian honey badger who never swims in Australia because he’s afraid of sharks_

(12.28): **THEY ARE HUGE JEV. AND JELLYFISH. Oh shitrdfg AJAFJ;JopOJALKJFjmlf**

(12.30): _?_

(12.37): **G’day Jevvy whoever you are! We’ve taken Dan hostage and we’re dragging him to the sea for his Christmas swim because he’s being a boring bastard sitting on the sun lounger on his phone! If you don’t hear from him again, it’s because we’ve fed him to a great white**

(12.42): _I won’t mourn_

(12.44): **Good to know!**

 

(1.15): **A crab nipped my toe. I’m never swimming again.**

(1.16): _Big baby_

 

(1.59): **About earlier ..**

(2.02): _Oh dear. I’m sorry I called you a baby. Okay?_

(2.04): **No not that. Tho you can call me baby any time ;)**

(2.04): _Idiot_

(2.06): **I just wanted to ask .. Are you upset you didn’t get to stay at TR?**

(2.07): _No, I’m fine._

(2.08): **You don’t have to pretend with me ..**

(2.10): _No really. What would another year in Toro Rosso have done? Honestly, I’m glad to be out of the system._

(2.11): **Okay.**

(2.13): _I sense another question coming .._

(2.14): **Ha. Well .. Are you pissed you didn’t get the Red Bull seat?**

(2.17): _I .. resented Daniil for a bit. If I’m being honest. But not anymore, I’m over it. It’s not like I had a chance at the seat though, Marko hated me!_

(2.19): **Well .. Yeah okay, he did.**

(2.21): _No idea what I did. Whatever. He luuuuuurves you ;)_

(2.21): **VOM**

(2.23): **You gonna be around next year?**

(2.25): _I hope so. Not sure where though, I’m looking around. If not, I’ll look at Indycar or maybe sports cars. It’s kind of exciting having all these options open now._

(2.27): **I bet.**

(2.34): _What are you up to now anyway?_

(2.36): **Waiting for my go on the wii, playing games with the fam. FUCK YES, THEY WANT TO PLAY MARIO KART**

(2.37): _Oh no_

(2.45): _Oh dear, you’re gone aren’t you?_

(2.52): _Play nice._

 

(3.49): **Totally bossed it**

(3.52): _Good to know_

 

(5.04): _Tante Jacqueline est ici!_

(5.05): **Oui, c’est bon .. Pantalons**

(5.06):  _.. Trousers?_

(5.07): **I panicked, okay?**

 

(5.12): **Have you opened it yet?**

(5.13): _Patience_

(5.15): **ARGH**

 

(5.33): **Now?**

(5.35): _My little cousin is in charge of handing out presents. We have already had one tantrum when someone tried to help her speed up the process_

(5.37): **And you didn’t lose her on your walk? Poor show Jev**

(5.38): _Sorry!_

 

(5.54): Calling “DAN THE MAN”

**“You hate it don’t you. Argh! Sorry. I don’t know.”**

_“Hello Dan, how are you? I’m fine thanks, how was your Christmas?”_

**“Ugh, niceties.”**

_“Charmant!”_

**“Dude seriously, you’re killing me.”**

_“Okay okay. It’s ..”_

**“Horrible. You hate it.”**

_“For God’s sake.”_

**“Sorry, sorry.”**

_“I love it. Really. It must have taken you ages to put this together.”_

**“Well, it wasn’t something I threw together in five minutes, but I had some help. I got some of the F1 snappers to go through their archives and find any pics of you and us in our Toro Rosso days, and I had loads of stuff on my phone I could use.”**

_“It’s amazing; I can’t wait to hang it up when I get back to Monaco. I have to ask what prompted this though?”_

**“I dunno. I kind of knew you weren’t going to keep your Toro Rosso seat, and that really sucked, and I didn’t want you to forget all the good times you had. Especially with me.”**

_“Is that why you were asking questions earlier? You were sounding me out?”_

**“Well yeah, kinda.”**

_“I’ll never forget these years, best years of my life. Now I’ve got a proper memento of it!”_

**“So you like it then?”**

_“Yes, you idiot. Although I think you might have accidentally given me one of your cousin’s presents? The wooden car?”_

**“Oh, ha ha. That’s actually for you too. It’s a bit corny, I thought when you got your next drive, you could paint it in that livery. Or the Toro Rosso livery or whatever. I’m a bit screwed if you go to Indy or WEC ‘cause I’ll have to find a different car.”**

_“Awwwww ..”_

**“I’m a dork, aren’t I?”**

_“The biggest dork. I love it. I love you.”_

**“Oh. Blimey.”**

_“I .. Sorry. Slipped out.”_

**“Hey don’t brush it off like that. I know things changed after I went to Red Bull, but .. I kinda want them to go back to what it was before?”**

_“You know I might not be around the paddock next year.”_

**“Well maybe I don’t want us to be exclusive to the paddock. D’you reckon .. Could we have a proper go at it?”**

_“Really?”_

**“Yeah. Why not, right?”**

_“I .. Don’t know what to say.”_

**“It’s okay, I know we kinda drifted apart. I just never knew what to say. I didn’t want to rub it in your face that I got promoted and .. I guess it all fell apart from there.”**

_“Oh Dan. I was never mad you got promoted over me, you deserved it.”_

**“So did you.”**

_“Well, yeah okay. I was just sad you weren’t going to be around anymore. Not properly anyway.”_

**“And I was sad you couldn’t move up with me.”**

_“Thanks.”_

**“Ahhh, what a pair of sad sacks we make! Perfect for each other really!”**

_“Ha, I guess so. Can we talk about this more when we’re both back in Monaco? I don’t really want to have this conversation over the phone.”_

**“Okay.”**

_“Dan?”_

**“Yeah?”**

_“I really do love you. I just don’t want to hash out the details now, but I love you okay?”_

**“I love you too, JEV.”**

_“Hrrrrrnmmmghhh ..”_

**“You’re blushing aren’t you?”**

_“Maybe.”_

**“Ahhh bonza .. Love it when you blush ..”**

_“Dork .. You still there Dan?”_

**“Hrrmmph? Just about. Nearly 3am here but I’m propping my eyelids open just for you.”**

_“Unprop and go to sleep Dan. Bon nuit mon cher.”_

**“G’night. Joyeux Noel and all that.”**

_“Merry Christmas.”_

Call disconnected.


End file.
